Minus two degrees Celsius.

Most of my experience of Africa comes from the mass media – until recently my image was pretty uniform – Muslims in the north with some Christians, Christians in the south with some Muslims. Everywhere was a potential warzone just waiting to erupt, probably because everyone was starving and living in huts built from sticks and stones. My assumption was that people’s attitude to westerners – Mzungu, Faranji – would be ambivalent at best. Bloody occupiers, eh?

Whether deliberate or not, the media and often some charities constantly reproduce this image of a continent of people living in isolation, ignorance and want. We often forget that ‘Africa’ consists of sixty-three countries (only 54 legally recognised), hundreds of languages and ethnicities, many of whom are extremely outward looking. Most of Africa is out of sight to westerners, and therefore out of mind. Cool animals on documentaries notwithstanding.

Not once during my time in Tanzania did anyone other than I broach the subject of colonialism, likewise Ethiopia.

Ethiopia is unique amongst all the countries of Africa in that not once has it been successfully colonised. For most of the first half of the twentieth century, the Italians gave it a shot, but never really managed it. Towards the end of the Second World War, the British booted them out.

This has shaped the national psyche in a way unlike any of sub-Saharan Africa. Most nation states south of the Sahara were formed along fairly arbitrary colonial lines, throwing disparate tribes together to varying degrees of success – compare the majoritarian tradition of government in Kenya to the almost contrived pluralism of neighbouring Tanzania. A river here, a mountain ridge there and you’ve got a border. Ethiopia, on the other hand, has existed in some form, centred around the Entoto mountains, since at least the first century AD. The Empire that Ethiopia became was a major world power – they traded and had diplomatic relations with Europe, Persia, Arabia, India etc etc. They were, in essence the first and for a long time, the only unitary state in the whole region.

Food and drink.

Because of all this, Ethiopians have strong and distinctive food – another source of pride, socialising and symbolism. Injera is what it’s all about for these guys. It’s a thoroughly odd kind of bread made from Teff flour (coeliacs take note), it seems to be fermented like sourdough, cooked on a hot plate with a lot of water until it resembles a big flat (2-4mm thick) greyish-brown sponge. This is selling it short. It’s a little bit sour, but as is usually the case with bread, it’s supposed to carry other flavours – texture first. Bayaynet is a typical vegetarian Injera dish (below. If in doubt, say ‘Bayonet’). 

Clockwise from bottom right, cabbage, spiced split peas, chilli and rice, salad, beetroot, more cabbage, sauteed potato, spicy sauce and in the centre, spiced lentils.

It’s probably an acquired taste but heck, I like most everything. Some westerners can’t seem to get into it that much. I reckon most of you would like Injera Tibs. This time, you get a charcoal burner brought to your table, on top, charred strips of beef tossed in spices with chopped onion and chillies.

To come back to the Italians – pizza is ubiquitous – they aren’t much fussed on Italian people, but Ethiopians show a certain flexibility in acknowledging the brilliance of Italian cuisine versus the brutality visited on them by Mussolini’s armies. I haven’t yet eaten somewhere that didn’t serve decent pizza and pasta is almost a traditional food.

Perhaps it’s something to do with a mutual love of coffee that you can get a Macchiato (or Makayato) anywhere. It’s normally served with a spoon of sugar settled at the bottom. Ethiopians usually add two or three more. They’d probably add sugar to their coke if I suggested it.

Rolled up Irish Flag.

Probably my favourite thing to eat/drink is their juice. I do mean eat/drink, because juice (JOOSE!) here is really pulp, you can use a straw if you want* but I use a spoon. The best is Spriss, mango, papaya and avocado pulp layered with a little fresh lime juice on the top. An honourable mention to Ergo. It’s cold yoghurt that, again, you can eat or drink as you like. It’s quite creamy and a little sour, always super fresh and better than any ice cream. For those who’ve been to Turkey, it’s a lot like Ayran. It’s also a little like Tajik Chakka, but actually tastes nice with none of the pungency.

 

Ethiopians reckon they like spicy food, and warn me all the time about that. They don’t know what spicy means. 

*If you want to look like a girl or a child. I had a sudden urge to find out what the lowest temperature ever recorded at the Equator was. Minus two degrees Celsius on Cayembe Volcano in Ecuador. I don’t really want to confront what the highest temperature recorded at the poles.